I have noticed something with Nigerian guys/men, they like deceiving themselves.
Imagine a grandfather telling me that he wanted to make money before marriage..isn't that funny but i would love you to answer these questions for me.
1. Why do men/guys lie about their marriage status?
2. Why is it common with men/guys living abroad?
3. Does that mean that they don't love their wives?
4. What message do they pass whenever they are doing that?
5. What is the essence of doing that?
6. How do we curb that behaviour in men?
7. How would you feel if your wives is unfaithful and insincere to you?
8. How will your children feel if they find out that you are dating their friends or age mate?
Pls post your comments and answers........it's needed
Friday, January 29, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
What women hate about marriage.
It was 10am, when Adaugo read the highway sign ''welcome to Agbani Enugu''. Actually, Adaugo and Frank had left Abuja to Lagos that thursday morning after their traditional wedding ceremony or ''igbankwu''. The monday morning before adaugo lefct her family house,lotachi her mother helped her pack her enormous trousseau of two silk dresses, of bridal night gown and some under wears. her mum took care of everything rather quickly,with her overnight case in her hand, she went to join frank in his car.
When she turned and looked at her mum and realized that the final moment have come,she almost cried. Difficult as it was growing up in their family house, still it had been home for her and it will always remain so.
''Remember to be a good wife to frank your husband''lotachi said holding adaugo like a little girl.'' you know, he paid all that the elders demanded from him as your bride price and he did that with smiles''.
Looking at the piles of cloth Frank brought for her as the mother of the bride,she grinned and said'' see, all these george wrapper frank has brought for me?frank of course is my dream son-in-law. Cook his dishes well. Make his bed warm as a good wife ought to.Don't talk or become snappy when he is angry, and always respect him and be submissive to him in all circumstances'' lotachi said holding back her tears.
At that,Adaugo's eyes were filled with tears. She alighted from the car and hugged her Mum. Brides always cry,Frank thought as he opened the door of the car for her again. A week later after they had arrived Lagos. They headed for the court for a court wedding. They stood in line for their marriage certificate, which was issued to them. Adaugo excitedly signed her name, then the date, march 3 2000.
That was when the couple started living as Man and Wife, Adaugo hsving lived for six years with her husband discovered something about marriage that her mother{Lotachi} never told her, things which put her off, but she had to endure to keep her marriage. One of those things that she hates most in marriage is being woken up from her deep sleep for love making.
Sounds funny isn't it?But, she was serious, when you ask married women to express themselves: what they hate most in marriage, they woudn't mince words, they will pour out their mind.
''It's not as if we hate playing our role as their wives on bed, or MAKING THEIR BED WARM as our mum will always advice, but our husbands will keep themselves busy working on office files at home, and retiring to bed late when we are asleep.
Secondly, compulsory sexual activities that go on it.We don't like the idea of women always saying that their body is being owned by their husbands and they must''open up'', whether they like it or not. They think we don't deserve some right to say ''NO'', when we are not in the mood without him feeling we have denied them.
Thirdly,''in-laws'', who feel they ought to be respected irrespective of age, because their brother is marrying the woman. There are some in-laws like that, who feel wives should not address husband's siblings in certain manner.
Last but not the least,they hate to be blamed when things are not going on well in the family.This is common in our society today where a woman is blamed for the ill-luck of the man. Moreso, if she is newly married and the man happens to lose his job,the poor wife will be called all sort of ugly names. Women hate in-laws who are tryingt to sniff into their marriage.THEY HATE IT.
How about you?What is it you don't like about your marriage which you have been enduring, just to keep your marriage from breaking? Well, whatever it is,know that you are not alone in this. There are lot of women tolerating one thing or the other in their marriage, just to endure that the marriage does not crumble.Or have you forgotten that marriage is all about tolerance.
PS:PLS POST YOUR COMMENT
CULLED FROM F.G.C.ENUGU HIGHLANDER
It's all about you
When she turned and looked at her mum and realized that the final moment have come,she almost cried. Difficult as it was growing up in their family house, still it had been home for her and it will always remain so.
''Remember to be a good wife to frank your husband''lotachi said holding adaugo like a little girl.'' you know, he paid all that the elders demanded from him as your bride price and he did that with smiles''.
Looking at the piles of cloth Frank brought for her as the mother of the bride,she grinned and said'' see, all these george wrapper frank has brought for me?frank of course is my dream son-in-law. Cook his dishes well. Make his bed warm as a good wife ought to.Don't talk or become snappy when he is angry, and always respect him and be submissive to him in all circumstances'' lotachi said holding back her tears.
At that,Adaugo's eyes were filled with tears. She alighted from the car and hugged her Mum. Brides always cry,Frank thought as he opened the door of the car for her again. A week later after they had arrived Lagos. They headed for the court for a court wedding. They stood in line for their marriage certificate, which was issued to them. Adaugo excitedly signed her name, then the date, march 3 2000.
That was when the couple started living as Man and Wife, Adaugo hsving lived for six years with her husband discovered something about marriage that her mother{Lotachi} never told her, things which put her off, but she had to endure to keep her marriage. One of those things that she hates most in marriage is being woken up from her deep sleep for love making.
Sounds funny isn't it?But, she was serious, when you ask married women to express themselves: what they hate most in marriage, they woudn't mince words, they will pour out their mind.
''It's not as if we hate playing our role as their wives on bed, or MAKING THEIR BED WARM as our mum will always advice, but our husbands will keep themselves busy working on office files at home, and retiring to bed late when we are asleep.
Secondly, compulsory sexual activities that go on it.We don't like the idea of women always saying that their body is being owned by their husbands and they must''open up'', whether they like it or not. They think we don't deserve some right to say ''NO'', when we are not in the mood without him feeling we have denied them.
Thirdly,''in-laws'', who feel they ought to be respected irrespective of age, because their brother is marrying the woman. There are some in-laws like that, who feel wives should not address husband's siblings in certain manner.
Last but not the least,they hate to be blamed when things are not going on well in the family.This is common in our society today where a woman is blamed for the ill-luck of the man. Moreso, if she is newly married and the man happens to lose his job,the poor wife will be called all sort of ugly names. Women hate in-laws who are tryingt to sniff into their marriage.THEY HATE IT.
How about you?What is it you don't like about your marriage which you have been enduring, just to keep your marriage from breaking? Well, whatever it is,know that you are not alone in this. There are lot of women tolerating one thing or the other in their marriage, just to endure that the marriage does not crumble.Or have you forgotten that marriage is all about tolerance.
PS:PLS POST YOUR COMMENT
CULLED FROM F.G.C.ENUGU HIGHLANDER
It's all about you
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