Expecting Much

Expecting much from people is when you put so much trust and hope on people to do things and be there for you whenever you need them. Expecting them to be perfect or ever willing to support and care for you. It is very bad for one to expect much from colleagues, friends, ourselves, team and loved ones because they are bound to fail and some times our electronics also fail us when we least expected it thereby telling us that nothing is perfect on earth. Things that look perfect in your eyes might not be perfect in the eyes of your neighbor and everything has its own flaws. When people disappoint us , we feel very bad and heartbroken then we start looking for who to blame and who to judge or who to pity or console us, sometime we break up the relationship because we felt that our loved ones has broken our heart but have we paused for a while to ask ourselves why we feel bad when people disappoint us or why we cry and scream ‘’ I expected you to do it or understand’’, if you have not done that, please do now because you will be surprised to find out that you expected much from that person and expecting much leads to heartbreak, hurt and betrayal. Sometimes, we say people can’t hurt us because we don’t hurt them, which are lies because you don’t expect a bull not to attack you because you are vegetarian, the bull doesn’t care or know if you are a vegetarian or not that’s why you should expect the unexpected always to save yourself from being hurt or sad. Sometimes we expect much from ourselves that we feel bad when we can’t accomplish missions or goals then we feel like committing suicide or depressed but have you ever asked yourself whether the standard you chose is too impossible to accomplish within the period you carved out for it or whether you actually know what you want or what value it would add to your life? Would you accept it without blaming yourself when it comes out negative because it is that negativity that drives us mad? If you can’t accept then why would you choose such standard for yourself or what were you thinking? Were you expecting help or busy saying when you get to the bridge you will cross it, what if the bridge is broken? We should really learn how to stop putting much expectation on ourselves because stressing ourselves we do us more harm than good. CURBING MUCH EXPECTATIONS 1. Know what you want 2. Accept yourself as you are, picking out your flaws 3. Try to change your flaws by trying out new behavior 4. Repeat the behavior till they turn into habits {if you like the new behavior} 5. Fall in love with yourself 6. Decide what people can do for you to make you satisfied 7. Discuss it with them 8. Try to get a concrete answer from them like No or Yes 9. Examine your standard 10. Appreciate the ones you have done or the ones they did for you 11. Be responsible

Rings

The love women have for jewelry is no secret rather obvious and conspicuous, these jewelry ranges from bracelets to rings. Rings is a piece of jewelry that men and women love to wear on their finger, it's consisting of a circular band of precious metal and sometimes decorated with stones. Ring are said to affect one's mood or personality if worn on the right finger. How would you know if you wearing the right ring on the right finger? Thumb: the thumb is the most independent and it symbolizes will power.it's connected with the inner self of a person. wearing a ring on this finger boost one's will power and the preferred stone for this finger is ruby and garnet. Index finger: it symbolizes Authority, leadership and ambition. it represents unique kind of power.the preferred stone is blue topaz and amethyst. Middle finger: located in the middle, it signifies balance and it's related to our purpose in life, it represents individuality and wearing a ring on this finger could add balance to one's life. the preferred stone is quartz and coral. Ring finger: It is believed that the left ring finger has a vein that is linked directly to the heart and the wedding ring is worn there to bring your spouse closer to your heart.it also represents emotion, creativity and affections in a n individual. wearing a ring on this finger could help one become optimistic in life and the preferred stone is jade and moonstone. Little finger: It signifies our association with the outer world. it represents attitudes towards others and wearing a ring on this finger would enhance and positively change our relationship especially in marriage. the preferred stone is Amber and citrine. It's all about you

Reminisce

Finally, she is here......she is a witch, she killed her kids and husband because her husband is rich......eh eh eh, look at this stupid woman, she has killed my brother, just because my brother refused to give her that super market to manage, all these things is what i got from loving and getting married to the man that made life worth living for me........... Bose is my name, i am 28 years old...i graduated from University of Nigeria, Nsukka as a med. Lab scientist..i met this wonderful man in a church mass at independence layout, it was love at first sight...he loved me so much that i was scared of being deceived or dumped..he took care of me financially, emotionally and spiritually...i thought i was a christian but he was an epitome of Christ himself, i was highly impressed by him..I will never forget the day he came to see on a rainy day, his car broke down at our school gate but he came to the hostel just to see me without minding the heavy rain fall, his clothes was dripping and i felt embarrassed and happy or should i say surprised.''how can a full grown man like this leave his office just to visit under this heavy rain fall,in my mind i was the most luckiest girl in the world but as a lady, i don't have to let my feelings show", he is the best guy that i have ever met, that was the day i fell in love with him. Time rolled to months and months rolled to years but i didn't care to know about his family background, till when i went for service...i was sitting down at corpers' lodge when i saw two black jeep, i was like "wow", i guess it's one of these politicians that is dating my neighbor but lo, i was mistaken it was my boyfriend and his friend, he came to visit me, he ran towards and carried then he whispered into my ears "Baby DO YOU MIND STAYING WITH ME FOREVER?", i was blushing then he brought me down, gave me a lasting kiss that took my shyness away from forever and gave me a diamond ring, it was my engagement ring,he introduced the guy to me as noel, my driver...it was the happiest day in my life, i was the happening babe in the lodge, after i passed out, we went to see his parents and they loved me and the siblings appreciated me irrespective of my tribe. After a year, i had my first twins at London, that was when the jealousy came, the sister was asking why i should have my first baby in London when there are specialist in Nigeria, it really took my husband time to convince her that i revolted but he convinced me to do it because he wanted to be with me while i give birth since he is in a convention at London..we were living happily like two teenagers in love, we shared everything and he was like my right hand, i have never felt his absence since we got married and his action towards me made me swear that my baby girl will marry an igbo man cos i am not regretting marrying my husband...my sister envied me because i married the best husband in the world..we loved our kids and we take turns in watching them sleep or sometimes cuddle them together.The marriage was made in heaven and i was enjoying it. On 16th of July, i received the most shocking news of my life, my Husband and my kids are in the hospital, i rushed to the hospital from my place of work and they said i can't see them till evening...i went home prepared my husband favorite, {would believe my igbo husband that has never lived in the western part of Nigeria loved amala ati ewedu}, i came back in the evening, met my husband on the bed and my angels were in coma, i didn't want to tell my husband because i don't want him to die of heartbreak.. he said he wasn't hungry that all he wanted was to see me and i shouldn't live his side for any reason, that was his cliche but he meant it then, he refused to eat, i was there gisting with him till he slept off..inside i was crying then i left to see my angels only to find out that they were dead, i screamed and fainted. Opening my eyes to see my mother, i asked what she was doing here and she said the doctor called and i have spent two days with opening my eyes, she said she have been taking care of my husband, so i got up from the bed and ran to my husband's room, he was awake i ran into his arms and kissed him, the he said he was tired and slept off. In the evening, when i came to see him, he was looking pale then i kissed him and asked him why he didn't eat his food, he said he wanted to see me, i bent towards and kissed him slightly then he asked me to call the doctor, as i was about leaving he said he didn't want me to cry and i asked him why, then he requested for a favor which i promised to do, he said i should place his his head on my laps, i was surprised but i did that, he asked me to look into his eyes which i did then he said he wants to die looking into my eyes......tears was just rolling down my cheeks then he smiled and slept off..i laid him in bed and called my mother, she said i should call my husband's lawyer and i called her then she said i should come to her office....i was in her office when the doctor confirmed him dead. she was the head of WACO, she is a female right's activist so she told me what to do and promised to see me through during the burial and she will make sure nobody maltreats me during the burial. Few days before the burial, my husband's people have started requesting for his properties and even asked me to vacate the house...i kept calm till the burial, the normal rites of me having my hair cut though i wanted to do it, if possible die along with my family but sometimes we just have to let things be the way they are...my husband's people accused me and said some things to me but none of them could lay a finger on me because of my husband's lawyer .i just try to remain calm like a still water, meditating on the past memories..i miss my husband and i have never seen a man like my husband till date and i promised him that i will not kill myself and i will not marry any of his relatives.....though i am rich, i can never forget the man that showed me loved and i made a promise to myself that i will never marry another man because no man can be like my husband...He is the love of my life and source of happiness. For all the widows in the Nigerian society especially widows that are being maltreated in their late husband's family can go to court and seek redress or meet any women's right activists like WACO so that they can help them out. it's all about you

Seven Tests Of True Love

1. The Giving Test: True love is always interested in giving happiness rather than receiving. It always wants to care and understand each other. Always ready to sacrifice everything in order to make him/her happy.
IS IT MY DESIRE TO MAKE HIM/HER HAPPY OR TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?

2. The Admiration test: True love admires one another. He/She looks up to him/her in everything he/she does. It’s more than just a feeling or you can say it’s a self-resolution {if I’m allowed to use that}. He shouldn’t have you because he wanted to maybe because you are sexy or rich rather because he enjoys your company and would want to be your best friend forever.
IS THIS MORE THAN A FEELING? DO WE REALLY LOOK UP TO EACH OTHER OR TRUST EACH OTHER?

3: The Habit Test: True love always accepts one another’s habit/character. He/She shouldn’t try to change one another’s character. It’s very dysfunctional to think your partner will change after marriage so ladies and Gent. If you know you cannot marry an untidy or a drunken fellow then why are you giving him/her a trial?
It’s only God’s intervention but sometimes it doesn’t work because those things that you pray to God to change might be his/her source of happiness and God cannot take away one’s happiness.
CAN I ACCEPT AND LOVE HIM/HER ALONG WITH HIS HABIT WITHOUT FORCING HIM/HER TO CHANGE?

4. The Problem Solving Test: True love always wants to discuss and share their problems amongst themselves. They don’t need a third party. They believe in problem halved is a problem shared.
HAVE WE BEEN ABLE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM TOGETHER BY DISCUSSING THEM WITH EACH OTHER OR WITHOUT CALLING A THIRD PARTY?

5. The Quarrel test: True love is willing to forgive and let the other have his/her way without bearing grudges though in a relationship, everybody tries to be good but as time goes on, One should be real and avoid pretence. The other should be ready to give up rather than arguing.
N:B; IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU’VE NOT EXPERIENCED ANY FORM OF DISAGREEMENT THEN ONE OF YOU IS PRETENDING OR HIDING HIS FEELING.
SOLVING QUARREL IS AN ACT THAT SHOULD BE MASTERED BEFORE MARRIAGE.
THE ONE WHO IS NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED….that’s if you like maybe hoping for a change.

HAVE WE HAD A QUARREL AND WILLINGLY FORGIVE AND ALLOW THE OTHER HAVE HIS/HER WAY WITHOUT GRUDGES?

6. The Excitement Test: True love is always excited at the sight of each other because they enjoy being together. This doesn’t involve sex and the rest but discussing, cracking jokes and shopping together.
DO WE FEEL EXCITED WHENEVER WE ARE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER WITHOUT HAVING SEX OR CARESSING EACH OTHER?

7. The Time Test: True love takes time to mature and grow because there are questions that needs to be answered. Questions like;
HOW DOES HE/SHE BEHAVE WHENEVER SHE/HE IS ANGRY OR IN A BAD MOOD?
DOES HE SPEND ALL HIS SALARY IN A MONTH WITHOUT SAVING SOME?
IS HE/SHE KEEPING SECRETS THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW?
DOES HE/SHE WILLING TO ADMIT HIS /HER FAULT OR WRONG DOINGS?
DOES HE/SHE FORGIVE ANYONE THAT HURTS THEM?

Love and True Love

Love is the act of showing care and affection for someone you love. It can be a male or a female.
We have two kinds of love; 1. Agape love
2. Intimate love
But the love we want to discuss is the type of love you find in relationships and marriage. In relationship you have two types of love; 1. Selfish Love
2. Unselfish Love
1. Selfish Love; this type of love being displayed in the early stage of relationship where the both parties think about themselves only without considering his or her partner’s feeling. Selfish love shouldn’t just stop there but it should be strengthened to unselfish love so that the relationship can lead to a happy marriage.
2. Unselfish love; this type of love comes after selfish love. It involves the both parties now. Both partners are ready to satisfy each other needs without putting his or her needs first. This type of love is seriously needed in a good relationship or marriage.

Seven Tests to know True love.
1. The giving test
2. The admiration test
3. The habit test
4. The problem solving test
5. The quarrel test
6. The excitement test
7. the time test

stay with us for more on true love.......don't forget to post your comment or questions.Everything on test will be explained in the next post.

Charity's Freedom

Charity was happy when her relationship of two years that almost led to marriage crashed and what makes her happy about the whole thing is that it actually ended up in a fight for freedom.
Charity is a young beautiful girl, who is looking for a friendship/dating online believing she will find her match there. She found a young barrister named Charles whom she thought was a good and responsible guy.
At the initial stage of the relationship, everything was moving smoothly and charity was busy fantasizing and day dreaming of marriage to this barrister. This played his game so tight, making charity believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He was this loving, caring and attentive that you would think he was a God sent.
Charity loved this guy so much that she is willing to die for him. Charles grew more jealous as the day passes, he tries to monitor everything she does while he is away, always accusing her of flirting with every dick and harry, always want her to admit every accusation without refusal.
Charity being the peaceful and loving girl, she wouldn’t let Charles go so she decided to accept the accusation. Even before Charles will start raging, she will lie that she has been sleeping with different guys so that peace will reign in their midst, little did she know that she was busy digging her grave while trying to save her relationship.
Charles would call her names, beat her up and still apologize to her, she willingly accept and forgives without expressing her fear or anger, believing that he will change someday. Charity found herself showing more love while Charles was busy eating, admiring other girls’ boobs and ass, making calls and smoking.
Charity took a break in 2009 and after several months he came back pleading and crying to charity, she had no options that to accept believing that the love of her life has turned a new leaf. He proposed to her which she readily accepted. He was meant to see charity’s people on December but later post-poned it because he was out of the country for a course. When he finally came, charity went to see him in his house. He actually forced charity to bed and even tried to hit her.
Suddenly, charity got guts and nerves to stand up to him. She told him that she doesn’t have feelings for him, she hated why God created such an animal as a human and she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Charles slapped her and she returned his slap immediately. Charles started raging that charity was an ingrate, after all he did for her but what he actually did was taking her out to buy her ice-cream and chocolate.
Charity full of anger gave it back to him by telling him how selfish, wicked and evil he is. This ended up in exchange of slaps and charity got herself broken from the love jinx that was placed on her. She took herself out to celebrate her independence and swore never to allow any guy abuse her again.
That’s how charity got her freedom back. Dear, are you the charity in your relationship, what are you waiting for to move or are you jinxed? Women shouldn’t allow themselves to be abused in their society. We must learn how to fight this abuse in our society, relationship and marriage.

The Responsible Guys

Hello friends, this is my special edition for the valentine…. I think it will be nice for us single ladies.

Qualities you should look out for in a guy
1. Intelligent
2. Responsible
3. Gentle
4. Loving
5. Caring
6. Hardworking
7. Respectful
8. Neat
Guys with these qualities are rare while some of them are too busy and they do feel that they don’t have time for girls.
These ones do run away from girls because of they have the impression that girls will break their heart or squander their money.
Some of them are too simple that you can hardly notice them, they like being on their own. I mean independent” less friends more work’ mentality.
They are very matured in thinking and slow to anger though when they are angry, it will rain fire and brimstone but it won’t last long.
They feel free when they are with their loved ones but shy when they see whom they like.
He doesn’t have time to argue foolishly but likes to listen and take corrections.
They always like to treat their loved ones right most especially their wives/girlfriends.
The worst mistake we girls do make is that we call the right ones ’’MUGU’’ and the wrong ones ‘’CORRECT GUY’’.
Ladies if your boyfriend has these qualities, better hold on to him tightly because someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to grasp him…don’t say i didn’t tell you cos it's all about you.