1. The Giving Test: True love is always interested in giving happiness rather than receiving. It always wants to care and understand each other. Always ready to sacrifice everything in order to make him/her happy.
IS IT MY DESIRE TO MAKE HIM/HER HAPPY OR TO MAKE MYSELF HAPPY?
2. The Admiration test: True love admires one another. He/She looks up to him/her in everything he/she does. It’s more than just a feeling or you can say it’s a self-resolution {if I’m allowed to use that}. He shouldn’t have you because he wanted to maybe because you are sexy or rich rather because he enjoys your company and would want to be your best friend forever.
IS THIS MORE THAN A FEELING? DO WE REALLY LOOK UP TO EACH OTHER OR TRUST EACH OTHER?
3: The Habit Test: True love always accepts one another’s habit/character. He/She shouldn’t try to change one another’s character. It’s very dysfunctional to think your partner will change after marriage so ladies and Gent. If you know you cannot marry an untidy or a drunken fellow then why are you giving him/her a trial?
It’s only God’s intervention but sometimes it doesn’t work because those things that you pray to God to change might be his/her source of happiness and God cannot take away one’s happiness.
CAN I ACCEPT AND LOVE HIM/HER ALONG WITH HIS HABIT WITHOUT FORCING HIM/HER TO CHANGE?
4. The Problem Solving Test: True love always wants to discuss and share their problems amongst themselves. They don’t need a third party. They believe in problem halved is a problem shared.
HAVE WE BEEN ABLE TO SOLVE A PROBLEM TOGETHER BY DISCUSSING THEM WITH EACH OTHER OR WITHOUT CALLING A THIRD PARTY?
5. The Quarrel test: True love is willing to forgive and let the other have his/her way without bearing grudges though in a relationship, everybody tries to be good but as time goes on, One should be real and avoid pretence. The other should be ready to give up rather than arguing.
N:B; IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP AND YOU’VE NOT EXPERIENCED ANY FORM OF DISAGREEMENT THEN ONE OF YOU IS PRETENDING OR HIDING HIS FEELING.
SOLVING QUARREL IS AN ACT THAT SHOULD BE MASTERED BEFORE MARRIAGE.
THE ONE WHO IS NOT WILLING TO GIVE UP SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED….that’s if you like maybe hoping for a change.
HAVE WE HAD A QUARREL AND WILLINGLY FORGIVE AND ALLOW THE OTHER HAVE HIS/HER WAY WITHOUT GRUDGES?
6. The Excitement Test: True love is always excited at the sight of each other because they enjoy being together. This doesn’t involve sex and the rest but discussing, cracking jokes and shopping together.
DO WE FEEL EXCITED WHENEVER WE ARE SPENDING TIME TOGETHER WITHOUT HAVING SEX OR CARESSING EACH OTHER?
7. The Time Test: True love takes time to mature and grow because there are questions that needs to be answered. Questions like;
HOW DOES HE/SHE BEHAVE WHENEVER SHE/HE IS ANGRY OR IN A BAD MOOD?
DOES HE SPEND ALL HIS SALARY IN A MONTH WITHOUT SAVING SOME?
IS HE/SHE KEEPING SECRETS THAT YOU REALLY NEED TO KNOW?
DOES HE/SHE WILLING TO ADMIT HIS /HER FAULT OR WRONG DOINGS?
DOES HE/SHE FORGIVE ANYONE THAT HURTS THEM?
Monday, November 1, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Love and True Love
Love is the act of showing care and affection for someone you love. It can be a male or a female.
We have two kinds of love; 1. Agape love
2. Intimate love
But the love we want to discuss is the type of love you find in relationships and marriage. In relationship you have two types of love; 1. Selfish Love
2. Unselfish Love
1. Selfish Love; this type of love being displayed in the early stage of relationship where the both parties think about themselves only without considering his or her partner’s feeling. Selfish love shouldn’t just stop there but it should be strengthened to unselfish love so that the relationship can lead to a happy marriage.
2. Unselfish love; this type of love comes after selfish love. It involves the both parties now. Both partners are ready to satisfy each other needs without putting his or her needs first. This type of love is seriously needed in a good relationship or marriage.
Seven Tests to know True love.
1. The giving test
2. The admiration test
3. The habit test
4. The problem solving test
5. The quarrel test
6. The excitement test
7. the time test
stay with us for more on true love.......don't forget to post your comment or questions.Everything on test will be explained in the next post.
We have two kinds of love; 1. Agape love
2. Intimate love
But the love we want to discuss is the type of love you find in relationships and marriage. In relationship you have two types of love; 1. Selfish Love
2. Unselfish Love
1. Selfish Love; this type of love being displayed in the early stage of relationship where the both parties think about themselves only without considering his or her partner’s feeling. Selfish love shouldn’t just stop there but it should be strengthened to unselfish love so that the relationship can lead to a happy marriage.
2. Unselfish love; this type of love comes after selfish love. It involves the both parties now. Both partners are ready to satisfy each other needs without putting his or her needs first. This type of love is seriously needed in a good relationship or marriage.
Seven Tests to know True love.
1. The giving test
2. The admiration test
3. The habit test
4. The problem solving test
5. The quarrel test
6. The excitement test
7. the time test
stay with us for more on true love.......don't forget to post your comment or questions.Everything on test will be explained in the next post.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Charity's Freedom
Charity was happy when her relationship of two years that almost led to marriage crashed and what makes her happy about the whole thing is that it actually ended up in a fight for freedom.
Charity is a young beautiful girl, who is looking for a friendship/dating online believing she will find her match there. She found a young barrister named Charles whom she thought was a good and responsible guy.
At the initial stage of the relationship, everything was moving smoothly and charity was busy fantasizing and day dreaming of marriage to this barrister. This played his game so tight, making charity believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He was this loving, caring and attentive that you would think he was a God sent.
Charity loved this guy so much that she is willing to die for him. Charles grew more jealous as the day passes, he tries to monitor everything she does while he is away, always accusing her of flirting with every dick and harry, always want her to admit every accusation without refusal.
Charity being the peaceful and loving girl, she wouldn’t let Charles go so she decided to accept the accusation. Even before Charles will start raging, she will lie that she has been sleeping with different guys so that peace will reign in their midst, little did she know that she was busy digging her grave while trying to save her relationship.
Charles would call her names, beat her up and still apologize to her, she willingly accept and forgives without expressing her fear or anger, believing that he will change someday. Charity found herself showing more love while Charles was busy eating, admiring other girls’ boobs and ass, making calls and smoking.
Charity took a break in 2009 and after several months he came back pleading and crying to charity, she had no options that to accept believing that the love of her life has turned a new leaf. He proposed to her which she readily accepted. He was meant to see charity’s people on December but later post-poned it because he was out of the country for a course. When he finally came, charity went to see him in his house. He actually forced charity to bed and even tried to hit her.
Suddenly, charity got guts and nerves to stand up to him. She told him that she doesn’t have feelings for him, she hated why God created such an animal as a human and she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Charles slapped her and she returned his slap immediately. Charles started raging that charity was an ingrate, after all he did for her but what he actually did was taking her out to buy her ice-cream and chocolate.
Charity full of anger gave it back to him by telling him how selfish, wicked and evil he is. This ended up in exchange of slaps and charity got herself broken from the love jinx that was placed on her. She took herself out to celebrate her independence and swore never to allow any guy abuse her again.
That’s how charity got her freedom back. Dear, are you the charity in your relationship, what are you waiting for to move or are you jinxed? Women shouldn’t allow themselves to be abused in their society. We must learn how to fight this abuse in our society, relationship and marriage.
Charity is a young beautiful girl, who is looking for a friendship/dating online believing she will find her match there. She found a young barrister named Charles whom she thought was a good and responsible guy.
At the initial stage of the relationship, everything was moving smoothly and charity was busy fantasizing and day dreaming of marriage to this barrister. This played his game so tight, making charity believe anything that comes out of his mouth. He was this loving, caring and attentive that you would think he was a God sent.
Charity loved this guy so much that she is willing to die for him. Charles grew more jealous as the day passes, he tries to monitor everything she does while he is away, always accusing her of flirting with every dick and harry, always want her to admit every accusation without refusal.
Charity being the peaceful and loving girl, she wouldn’t let Charles go so she decided to accept the accusation. Even before Charles will start raging, she will lie that she has been sleeping with different guys so that peace will reign in their midst, little did she know that she was busy digging her grave while trying to save her relationship.
Charles would call her names, beat her up and still apologize to her, she willingly accept and forgives without expressing her fear or anger, believing that he will change someday. Charity found herself showing more love while Charles was busy eating, admiring other girls’ boobs and ass, making calls and smoking.
Charity took a break in 2009 and after several months he came back pleading and crying to charity, she had no options that to accept believing that the love of her life has turned a new leaf. He proposed to her which she readily accepted. He was meant to see charity’s people on December but later post-poned it because he was out of the country for a course. When he finally came, charity went to see him in his house. He actually forced charity to bed and even tried to hit her.
Suddenly, charity got guts and nerves to stand up to him. She told him that she doesn’t have feelings for him, she hated why God created such an animal as a human and she wouldn’t want to have anything to do with him. Charles slapped her and she returned his slap immediately. Charles started raging that charity was an ingrate, after all he did for her but what he actually did was taking her out to buy her ice-cream and chocolate.
Charity full of anger gave it back to him by telling him how selfish, wicked and evil he is. This ended up in exchange of slaps and charity got herself broken from the love jinx that was placed on her. She took herself out to celebrate her independence and swore never to allow any guy abuse her again.
That’s how charity got her freedom back. Dear, are you the charity in your relationship, what are you waiting for to move or are you jinxed? Women shouldn’t allow themselves to be abused in their society. We must learn how to fight this abuse in our society, relationship and marriage.
Friday, February 5, 2010
The Responsible Guys
Hello friends, this is my special edition for the valentine…. I think it will be nice for us single ladies.
Qualities you should look out for in a guy
1. Intelligent
2. Responsible
3. Gentle
4. Loving
5. Caring
6. Hardworking
7. Respectful
8. Neat
Guys with these qualities are rare while some of them are too busy and they do feel that they don’t have time for girls.
These ones do run away from girls because of they have the impression that girls will break their heart or squander their money.
Some of them are too simple that you can hardly notice them, they like being on their own. I mean independent” less friends more work’ mentality.
They are very matured in thinking and slow to anger though when they are angry, it will rain fire and brimstone but it won’t last long.
They feel free when they are with their loved ones but shy when they see whom they like.
He doesn’t have time to argue foolishly but likes to listen and take corrections.
They always like to treat their loved ones right most especially their wives/girlfriends.
The worst mistake we girls do make is that we call the right ones ’’MUGU’’ and the wrong ones ‘’CORRECT GUY’’.
Ladies if your boyfriend has these qualities, better hold on to him tightly because someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to grasp him…don’t say i didn’t tell you cos it's all about you.
Qualities you should look out for in a guy
1. Intelligent
2. Responsible
3. Gentle
4. Loving
5. Caring
6. Hardworking
7. Respectful
8. Neat
Guys with these qualities are rare while some of them are too busy and they do feel that they don’t have time for girls.
These ones do run away from girls because of they have the impression that girls will break their heart or squander their money.
Some of them are too simple that you can hardly notice them, they like being on their own. I mean independent” less friends more work’ mentality.
They are very matured in thinking and slow to anger though when they are angry, it will rain fire and brimstone but it won’t last long.
They feel free when they are with their loved ones but shy when they see whom they like.
He doesn’t have time to argue foolishly but likes to listen and take corrections.
They always like to treat their loved ones right most especially their wives/girlfriends.
The worst mistake we girls do make is that we call the right ones ’’MUGU’’ and the wrong ones ‘’CORRECT GUY’’.
Ladies if your boyfriend has these qualities, better hold on to him tightly because someone is out there waiting for an opportunity to grasp him…don’t say i didn’t tell you cos it's all about you.
Friday, January 29, 2010
WHY DO MEN LIE ABOUT THEIR MARRIAGE STATUS?
I have noticed something with Nigerian guys/men, they like deceiving themselves.
Imagine a grandfather telling me that he wanted to make money before marriage..isn't that funny but i would love you to answer these questions for me.
1. Why do men/guys lie about their marriage status?
2. Why is it common with men/guys living abroad?
3. Does that mean that they don't love their wives?
4. What message do they pass whenever they are doing that?
5. What is the essence of doing that?
6. How do we curb that behaviour in men?
7. How would you feel if your wives is unfaithful and insincere to you?
8. How will your children feel if they find out that you are dating their friends or age mate?
Pls post your comments and answers........it's needed
Imagine a grandfather telling me that he wanted to make money before marriage..isn't that funny but i would love you to answer these questions for me.
1. Why do men/guys lie about their marriage status?
2. Why is it common with men/guys living abroad?
3. Does that mean that they don't love their wives?
4. What message do they pass whenever they are doing that?
5. What is the essence of doing that?
6. How do we curb that behaviour in men?
7. How would you feel if your wives is unfaithful and insincere to you?
8. How will your children feel if they find out that you are dating their friends or age mate?
Pls post your comments and answers........it's needed
Monday, January 25, 2010
What women hate about marriage.
It was 10am, when Adaugo read the highway sign ''welcome to Agbani Enugu''. Actually, Adaugo and Frank had left Abuja to Lagos that thursday morning after their traditional wedding ceremony or ''igbankwu''. The monday morning before adaugo lefct her family house,lotachi her mother helped her pack her enormous trousseau of two silk dresses, of bridal night gown and some under wears. her mum took care of everything rather quickly,with her overnight case in her hand, she went to join frank in his car.
When she turned and looked at her mum and realized that the final moment have come,she almost cried. Difficult as it was growing up in their family house, still it had been home for her and it will always remain so.
''Remember to be a good wife to frank your husband''lotachi said holding adaugo like a little girl.'' you know, he paid all that the elders demanded from him as your bride price and he did that with smiles''.
Looking at the piles of cloth Frank brought for her as the mother of the bride,she grinned and said'' see, all these george wrapper frank has brought for me?frank of course is my dream son-in-law. Cook his dishes well. Make his bed warm as a good wife ought to.Don't talk or become snappy when he is angry, and always respect him and be submissive to him in all circumstances'' lotachi said holding back her tears.
At that,Adaugo's eyes were filled with tears. She alighted from the car and hugged her Mum. Brides always cry,Frank thought as he opened the door of the car for her again. A week later after they had arrived Lagos. They headed for the court for a court wedding. They stood in line for their marriage certificate, which was issued to them. Adaugo excitedly signed her name, then the date, march 3 2000.
That was when the couple started living as Man and Wife, Adaugo hsving lived for six years with her husband discovered something about marriage that her mother{Lotachi} never told her, things which put her off, but she had to endure to keep her marriage. One of those things that she hates most in marriage is being woken up from her deep sleep for love making.
Sounds funny isn't it?But, she was serious, when you ask married women to express themselves: what they hate most in marriage, they woudn't mince words, they will pour out their mind.
''It's not as if we hate playing our role as their wives on bed, or MAKING THEIR BED WARM as our mum will always advice, but our husbands will keep themselves busy working on office files at home, and retiring to bed late when we are asleep.
Secondly, compulsory sexual activities that go on it.We don't like the idea of women always saying that their body is being owned by their husbands and they must''open up'', whether they like it or not. They think we don't deserve some right to say ''NO'', when we are not in the mood without him feeling we have denied them.
Thirdly,''in-laws'', who feel they ought to be respected irrespective of age, because their brother is marrying the woman. There are some in-laws like that, who feel wives should not address husband's siblings in certain manner.
Last but not the least,they hate to be blamed when things are not going on well in the family.This is common in our society today where a woman is blamed for the ill-luck of the man. Moreso, if she is newly married and the man happens to lose his job,the poor wife will be called all sort of ugly names. Women hate in-laws who are tryingt to sniff into their marriage.THEY HATE IT.
How about you?What is it you don't like about your marriage which you have been enduring, just to keep your marriage from breaking? Well, whatever it is,know that you are not alone in this. There are lot of women tolerating one thing or the other in their marriage, just to endure that the marriage does not crumble.Or have you forgotten that marriage is all about tolerance.
PS:PLS POST YOUR COMMENT
CULLED FROM F.G.C.ENUGU HIGHLANDER
It's all about you
When she turned and looked at her mum and realized that the final moment have come,she almost cried. Difficult as it was growing up in their family house, still it had been home for her and it will always remain so.
''Remember to be a good wife to frank your husband''lotachi said holding adaugo like a little girl.'' you know, he paid all that the elders demanded from him as your bride price and he did that with smiles''.
Looking at the piles of cloth Frank brought for her as the mother of the bride,she grinned and said'' see, all these george wrapper frank has brought for me?frank of course is my dream son-in-law. Cook his dishes well. Make his bed warm as a good wife ought to.Don't talk or become snappy when he is angry, and always respect him and be submissive to him in all circumstances'' lotachi said holding back her tears.
At that,Adaugo's eyes were filled with tears. She alighted from the car and hugged her Mum. Brides always cry,Frank thought as he opened the door of the car for her again. A week later after they had arrived Lagos. They headed for the court for a court wedding. They stood in line for their marriage certificate, which was issued to them. Adaugo excitedly signed her name, then the date, march 3 2000.
That was when the couple started living as Man and Wife, Adaugo hsving lived for six years with her husband discovered something about marriage that her mother{Lotachi} never told her, things which put her off, but she had to endure to keep her marriage. One of those things that she hates most in marriage is being woken up from her deep sleep for love making.
Sounds funny isn't it?But, she was serious, when you ask married women to express themselves: what they hate most in marriage, they woudn't mince words, they will pour out their mind.
''It's not as if we hate playing our role as their wives on bed, or MAKING THEIR BED WARM as our mum will always advice, but our husbands will keep themselves busy working on office files at home, and retiring to bed late when we are asleep.
Secondly, compulsory sexual activities that go on it.We don't like the idea of women always saying that their body is being owned by their husbands and they must''open up'', whether they like it or not. They think we don't deserve some right to say ''NO'', when we are not in the mood without him feeling we have denied them.
Thirdly,''in-laws'', who feel they ought to be respected irrespective of age, because their brother is marrying the woman. There are some in-laws like that, who feel wives should not address husband's siblings in certain manner.
Last but not the least,they hate to be blamed when things are not going on well in the family.This is common in our society today where a woman is blamed for the ill-luck of the man. Moreso, if she is newly married and the man happens to lose his job,the poor wife will be called all sort of ugly names. Women hate in-laws who are tryingt to sniff into their marriage.THEY HATE IT.
How about you?What is it you don't like about your marriage which you have been enduring, just to keep your marriage from breaking? Well, whatever it is,know that you are not alone in this. There are lot of women tolerating one thing or the other in their marriage, just to endure that the marriage does not crumble.Or have you forgotten that marriage is all about tolerance.
PS:PLS POST YOUR COMMENT
CULLED FROM F.G.C.ENUGU HIGHLANDER
It's all about you
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